1_absolved

yyyeah so its been awhile since i been on here last



what an interesting week lol

surprising too, i must say.....



cant complain tho...cant complain

that girl is sumn else lol



its strange to think of leaving in a couple months.....
...course when i came back from NY i didnt kno what i wanted to do

still dunno what i wanna do, but....im thinkn of working to save up
a buncha money..and then just traveling.

i kno i gotta see whats out there in the world


ah well....ill figure sumn out

well.......its that time....



disappear and lay low for awhile....peace ya'll

you know every time you needed something, i did what i could....
anytime you called and asked for money, if i had it, i gave it to you

and i NEVER even brought up u paying me back

both me and mom would watch cameron when u wanted to go out...

u stayed here in the house for a long time, when cameron was born
so u could save money....
i watched him grow from his earliest months to a year and a half in this house

im sorry u had ur accident...im sorry u were hurt
im glad u are safe, and im glad ur life was spared....

but why do you treat us so?
especially after mom has done so much for you

after ive tried to help u in all ways i could

we do things for you and dont even ask for anything in return

very petty.....very petty indeed.....

..........such is life i guess....

WHEN YOU DO GOOD, DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING IN RETURN-
DO IT OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF YOUR HEART......
you surely will receive scorn for kindness,
hate for love,
abuse for aid.

DON'T BECOME A DOORMAT FOR PEOPLE TO WALK ON-
STAND FIRM WHEN YOU MUST, SHOW COMPASSION WHEN NEEDED
its not easy to know what to do in all situations...
but seek wisdom in ALL things...for wisdom IS more
precious than any riches on earth. It is by pure
wisdome the foundations of the earth were lain,
the stars set in place, and the division between
heaven and earth fixed.

LOVE YOUR ENEMIES
in doing so, you will heap hot coals on your enemies head,
and you will be the greater human being.
It's easy to hate...the greater victory is in not harboring
hatred, unforgiveness, and malice.

WALK STRAIGHT PATHS, BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS
The Lord sees all, do not be fooled: We will account for every
action and deed, pure or evil. Enjoy your youth, yes: but remember
The Lord will not be mocked; He will bring judgement.
YOUTH IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO BEHAVE FOOLISHLY.

ABOVE ALL- BE GUARD YOUR HEART. BE TRUE TO YOURSELF
Don't let yourself be pulled down by those who don't
care about your welfare.
Many would have it so you fall to their level...and lower.

He promised us that He would be a counselor
A mighty God and the Prince of Peace
He promised us that He would be a Father
And He would love us with a love that would not cease


Well I tried Him and I found His promises are true
He's everything He said that He would be
The finest words I know could not begin to tell
Just what Jesus really means to me



For He's more wonderful than my mind can conceive
He's more wonderful than my heart can believe
He goes beyond my highest hopes and fondest dreams
He's everything that my soul ever longed for
Everything He'd promised and so much more
More than amazing
More than marvelous
More than miraculous could ever be
He's more than wonderful
That's what Jesus is to me



I stand amazed when I think that the King of Glory
Would come to live within the heart of man

Oh, I marvel just to know He really loves me
When I think of who He is and who I am



For He's more wonderful than my mind can conceive
He's more wonderful than my heart can believe
He goes beyond my highest hopes and fondest dreams
He's everything that my soul ever longed for
Everything He'd promised and so much more
More than amazing
More than marvelous
More than miraculous could ever be
He's more than wonderful
That's what Jesus is to me



This song always lifts my spirit...Prasie God on the Highest, Bless the Name of Jesus!

its funny, how people wear so many masks...........



which one do you have on right now?





well, its good to be yourself.




remember....the best face of all is your own, haha...


thats what i like about you-
You're YOU, and I wouldn't change YOU for the world.

Really.

itwasdarkness.darknessaroundme.darknessthatsurroundedme.bymyraisedhandiswearbeforeyouallitwasthedarkness.
itbetrayedme.ithoughtittobeafriendbutitprovedtobeamostmaliciousdelivererofpain.thedarkness.itcheatedme.itliedtome.
thedarkness.itwasthedarkness.howevermanyofyoumayfeelpulledbyitsseductiveluringgraspbeware.youwillplaythefool
anditwillplayuponyoulikeafife.thedarkness.thedarknessmademedoit.theevileinmethatliesinwaitfortheeshowsnomercy.

the chord was worn thin by recent events, and it will surely tear VERY soon.

.....but its what you wanted,right?

we could have set the world on fire,
we could have achieved monumental things.
we could have gone to the farthest reaches
of this globe;
succeeded in the course set before us.

u were like a brother to me-
not just a cousin,
but a brother and a close friend.

When once we shared the same corner, you became my enemy.
partly indeed, because i havent fully forgiven.
but i want you to know........
that not a day goes by that i dont think about you.
i loved you with all my heart
thats why the betrayel has felt so deep.
i still love you, but from afar....
ha....that seems to be my trend these days....
seems i can only love anyone from afar...
even if i want it to be close.

i wish i could say "i forgive you" and that would
be it....ive fought against myself for years now,
trying to do the right thing, trying to not
let the bitterness, resentment, rage, malice
and vengence take over my heart and mind.

...but You burned bridges, and you have to realize
that.

As much as i love you, i hated you all the more.
and as much as i loathed you, i wanted to tell you
how much u meant me at the same time.

Greatness lies not in the power of achieving what is easy-
it is conquering the impossible;
it is finding the path that was meant for you,
a path not traveled by anyone but you.
It is defeating one's self.
It is humility.
It is compassion.
It is admitting when one is wrong, and taking action
to change for the better...


i am wrong....

i am wrong.....

i've done you wrong.

I do this now, more so for myself than for you-
because i have to rise above the ashes ive laid in
for far too long.....

Please Forgive Me.

Things may never be the same.....
honestly i dont even know if i WANT them to be the same
I know its time i buried my hatchet, which ive sharpened for you.
God can do the rest.